Confidence is a very influential component for getting lucky, and it is therefore the second secret. It should come as no surprise that lucky people have a great amount of confidence. The rest of us look enviously at them and wish that we could be more confident, too. The truth is that you can be. Here are several simple techniques taken from my book Get Lucky Now that you can practice to attract more confidence into your life. You will then also invite a lot more luck. This blog continues the series of excerpts from Get Lucky Now.
People often make unselfish and courageous decisions to help others, sometimes by even risking their lives. When asked to justify their actions, common responses are, “Because I have to look at myself in the bathroom mirror every morning,” or “I just did what anybody in the same situation would have done.”
You also have to look at yourself every day, and what you see in the mirror will dictate what you feel about yourself, good or bad. It will determine how confident you feel. It may be your physical appearance or your assessment of your personality or what you have achieved in your life.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
For many people, their assessments of themselves will be highly critical. They do not think they are good enough to hit their targets. They think not of the success they can achieve but of the barriers to overcome to get there. Their thoughts spiral into a circle of negativity, until finally they convince themselves that their project is beyond them, and they give up – often much closer to the success they deserve than they realise.
William Shakespeare used fewer words in his play Measure for Measure but with an even more powerful message. At times of doubt, recall his words and redouble your efforts: “Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
Unfortunately, harsh self-criticism destroys confidence, which further reinforces this cycle of negativity. This will not help your search for success. It will not help you find the intuitive mind-set that will identify open doors. So how can you break this destructive cycle? Fortunately, it may be far easier than you think.
Internal Dialogue
This is the voice in your brain. There is often a constant broadcast of your life. Very often, it slips out of the mouth, usually followed by an embarrassed, “I was just talking to myself.”
Confidence is a state of mind and, therefore, to a greater or lesser extent, under your control. Your thoughts control your mood, and very often what goes on in your head comes out in your life. Henry Ford expressed this succinctly when he said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t—you are right.”
If you think something bad will happen, chances are you will not be surprised when it does. Fortunately, the opposite is also true. Develop a positive attitude, value your talents, and approach challenges in this light, and your chances of success will increase significantly, further strengthening your confidence for future challenges.
This is the first tip that will demonstrate how you can build more confidence. Adopt this simple mantra right now. Say it out loud.
“From this moment forward, I will only say good things about myself.”
Try to Be Humble
If you are concerned that you might lose out on learning from your mistakes or that you are becoming arrogant, you can add the following words: “Fear not. I can trust family, friends, and the rest of the world to point out my mistakes. I do not need to give them any help.”
In the next post, we are going to remember the good times and build some very powerful anchors.
Confidence is a huge subject and therefore is included in my NLP coaching programs.
